Spirituality

I just got off the phone with Reynolds. I am so proud of her because she as at camp and she was telling me about how she's grown deeply spiritually in the wake of her first heartbreak. I wish I was as strong as she was. Robin asked me to help lead the Women's Small Group in the fall and I can't bring myself to say yes. After all I've been through and entering into therapy, that I was hoping would make me stronger, I still don't feel anything. Maybe its because I am out of practice but I'm not making an effort to read my Bible or to talk about God. I don't feel motivated to go to church or Wednesday night services. I don't want to fake feeling better but I don't want to show my struggles either. I just want to feel something. I don't feel like I'm being punished or anything but I do feel somewhat abandoned. I know that I am turning my back on God. But I can't figure out how to turn around.